There are three full days left in 2012 and so many of the things I swore I was going to do have not gotten done. I resolved to find a 500H program that would fit my desires. I resolved to practice yoga every day. I resolved to meditate every day. I resolved to eat better and drink less. I resolved not to get mad. Somehow the one resolution I was actually able to keep was one I never made: I resolve to be human.
Resolutions are wonderful ways to make little promises to yourself, or even to design some guidelines to follow. But the truth is many of us just list them but then never follow through for the remaining 364 days of the year. “Resolve” means ” the act of determining,” as if saying “I resolve” to do something means it WILL happen. The reality is that unless resolutions are things like eating and sleeping we often are not capable to keeping them. Then we feel like failures because we do not.
This year I am making a list of sankalpas I hope to live by in 2013. A sankalpa is a heartfelt desire or intention. There is no finality like in a resolution. Instead there is a something inside us that drives us to do whatever we are aspiring to do. We are listening to the messages inside, the words from our heart just like we listen to our breath during our yoga practice. Sankalpas are more intuitive and truly cannot be ignored and thus have much greater chances of coming to fruition than resolutions do.
While I cannot share all the sankalpas I have on my list with you because some are for me alone, here is a small collection. While I sit with my newly cleansed (by the light of the Full Moon) quartz for manifestation, I am writing them down so that not only you, but also the Universe is listening. I know in my heart they will be true because that is where they are sourced. So here goes:
1.) I will learn to step away from technology and be more present for at least one hour a day. No phone, no internet, only what is present in front of me. I long for quiet and slowness. The internet gives me neither.
2.) I will write what is in my head and my heart rather than allow things to distract me from doing so. If that happens I will create time to write by giving up some other activity. It’s as fundamental as breath and I have been missing it. Some I will share, some will be for me.
3.) I will read. Blogs. Books. Fiction. My reading will not be limited to my Facebook and Twitter feeds.
4.) I will commit to a training program for 2014 and find a way to make it happen. It is time and I know which one. I will find the method to do it. I will not make excuses. I will not ask permission.
5.) I will close my eyes for five minutes every day and listen to my breath.
6.) I will practice yoga even if it is stillness. Quiet minds lead to deep dreams. I want to know my deep dreams.
7.) I will be a more reliable friend.
8.) I will be a more understanding wife.
9.) I will be a mellower mom.
10.) I will be ok with myself if I do not accomplish 1-9.
I could resolve to be on a beach, to travel to train when and where I want, to open a studio, to teach other yogis, to lose the cushy parts of my body, to stop drinking wine, to eat more kale, to give up potato chips, to drive slowly, to not raise my voice, to not think negative thoughts, to always be kind, to not curse, or to think everyone is awesome. But I am not a magician nor am I unrealistic. I am a yogi. I am giving up on resolutions and sticking with my sankalpas.
They will be the boat that takes me to paradise.
Join me on the mat. What are your hearts’ deepest desires? Will you listen to what it is saying?
Can you write them down and make them how you live 2013?
Can you create your own paradise? What does it look like? Tell me.